Life in the prehistoric days, before air-conditioning was invented, was harsh. Humans were hunter-gatherers, meaning the men would go out and hunt wild game, after which the women would gather up the men’s remaining parts because back then wild game was really wild and did not come from the local gourmet butchery.

Even when the humans managed to kill an animal, they had to eat it raw. This situation continued for a long time until one lucky day when someone – we’ll call him Ook (name changed for legal reasons) – happened to be standing outside a thunderstorm, holding a piece of meat, and was struck by lightning. When the smoke cleared, the other humans tasted the now-cooked meat and found it to taste much better. They discovered that Ook was also delicious.

This discovery ushered in what archaeologists call the Age of Barbeque. Now, when the tribe killed an animal, a person will be designated as the Meat Holder. This Meat Holder had to stand outside during thunderstorms, holding the meat in the air, most likely on a stick (“Kebab” is a derivative of the word “Ke-Boom”), while the others waited safely inside a cave until they heard lightning strike, indicating that their food was done.


This brutal system came to an end when the Humans discovered that they could create their own fire whenever they wanted by simply rubbing sticks together. This enabled them to have light and heat inside the cave while they waited for lightning to strike the Meat Holder.

The Age of Barbeque lasted for millions of years, during which the Human race gradually developed a powerful hankering for side dishes. This in turn led to the invention of Agriculture.


That’s a story for another time.

Posted on 31st Dec 2006 in Food and Drink, Fun


There Are 4 Comments


Frank M commented on December 31, 2006 at 7:39 pm

Mmmmmm…meat and fire……..
It don’t git no better!
Frank in Austin


Navi commented on January 3, 2007 at 10:35 pm

Hey man. Is that you with the cool funny t-shirt? Whats the deal with the visible strap though? Thats not a bra i hope.. hehe.


Ivan commented on January 4, 2007 at 1:57 am

@Navi: I think you see too much into things. 😉 I only claim responsibility for grilling the wonderfully charred and extremely delicious (seasoned by the owner of the cool t-shirt) ribs.

@Frank M: It shure don’t! » Blog Archive » A Round-up of 2006 commented on January 8, 2007 at 12:54 am

[…] Ivan: @Navi: I think you see too much into things. 😉 I only claim responsibility for grilling the… […]

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